I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
