What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize