haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
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