What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
last night I used snow as a chaser
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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