Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
