swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
