It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
smell my finger.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
