dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
