i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
