the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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