I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
