I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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