maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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