yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
