so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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