I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
