I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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