marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize