Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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