we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
