I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
