Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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