well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
