North Korea, Best Korea!
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
