i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
