god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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