dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
