she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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