her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
