Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
