The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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