real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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