Just fell off a train. Bad.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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