If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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