there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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