we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
