Can Purell be used as lube?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize