im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
