It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
