no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
are you so shy because you have an std?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
