is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
