Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
