Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
