I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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