Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
