Sponge bath it is.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
