Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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