Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize