he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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