You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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