she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
