i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
