It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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