your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
