Is it normal to miss your booty call?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
