so explain again why im purple
no
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
