to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
