All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
