I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
